1964: Girls in girdles and tight-fitting bras!

I’ve been a freelance writer for 35 years—geez, I can’t believe I just typed that number—but no matter how long I do it, I always get a thrill seeing my newest work in print, whether it’s a piece of erotic fiction, a book review, naughty copy for nude pictures, or one of my favorite assignments, The Horny Time Traveler column for GALLERY magazine…

The new issue is about to hit the stands, and if you’re over 18 and enjoy explicit photos of enthusiastic exhibitionistic girls, you definitely want to check it out!

Does anybody remember when girls named "Nelly" were supposed to wear gingham dresses and milk cows?

Now, my personal fascination for retro babes is just about endless, whether they be the snake-wielding hotties of ancient Crete, the clever adultresses of medieval Europe, the crossdressing female mercenaries of the Renaissance, or the silky-stockinged flappers of the Roaring 20s—just a few of the curvy characters I’ve written about on this blog. But even a diehard mental adventurer in the 4th dimension likes to take a break now and then, and when I do, GALLERY keeps me up-to-date on some of the loveliest women of contemporary times, whether she is the winner of May 2009’s Girl Next Door Contest, the sultry brunette Elkie from Brockton, Massachusetts, or the spectacularly blonde and b-b-busty Jami, who takes on a lucky stiff named Totti in a pictorial that’s guaranteed to make anyone’s gonads stand up and shout (so to speak)…yes, I’m still recovering from a hot shot on p. 139 where she takes Totti in hand, and looks right into the camera as her lovely and l-l-large breasts hang down…

But while I still have some brain cells left, let’s get back to my column! This month, I take you on a journey to 1964…twelve months that witnessed events as momentous as the passage of President Johnson’s Civil Rights Act, to the fun-filled New York World’s Fair, to my own humble bar mitzvah, and to the publication of brassiere ads like this one…

These were the kinds of adolescent-altering ads you saw in magazines and newspapers in 1964.

These were the kinds of psyche-altering ads you saw in magazines and newspapers in 1964. Well done, you Mad Men!

We visit 1964 through the pages of two girlie magazines of that year, TAB and VUE, in which we meet alluring actresses of the time like Shirley Anne Field…

Shirley is also on DVD in 1963's Kings of the Sun, a lusty melodrama of the ancient Aztecs with Yul Brynner.

…and read about everybody and everything from Frank Sinatra to top-heavy British pinup June Wilkinson; from how Tokyo striptease shows were being influenced by Western culture, to how celebrities like Anthony Quinn were boldly fathering children outside of marriage and shocking the hell out of folks; plus, there’s a great selection of cool ads for 1964 stuff like elevator shoes, 8mm burlesque movies, and a book entitled “How to Wow a Woman.”

Yes, after you’ve read about 1964 through my column, you might suddenly have a craving for a woman who dresses (or rather, undresses) like this:

The word "gay" certainly meant something different to most folks in '64!

The word "gay" certainly meant something different to most folks in '64!

…or maybe like this!

A "cougar" before the term was invented!

A "cougar" before the term was invented!

The May 2009 issue of GALLERY also has an interesting profile of actress Carla “Watchmen” Gugino, whose career as a performer is analyzed through fascinating details of her unusual childhood experiences; a roundtable discussion with NBA superstar broadcasters like Chris Webber, Ahmad Rashad, and Marv Albert, that takes you insightfully into the day-to-day workings and challenges of the job; and, last but never least, there are lots more nekidd girls!

Editor David J. Evans has done another bang-up job with this issue, so look for your copy on the stands. It’ll be wrapped in plastic not only because it’s XXX-hot, but it’s got a DVD included too.

Meanwhile, I’m climbing back into my girlie-mag time machine for another journey into the past!

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If you want to learn more about my magazine column, and how it intersects with this blog, check out the “Who I Am” page.

The illustrations you see here in this entry are not the illustrations in the GALLERY article, but specially chosen for this post. I found the Montgomery Ward catalog cover here; the Shirley Anne Field portrait here; the Maidenform bra ad here; and that amazing girdle ad here!

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Busty babes of 1955!

If you want to travel back in time in a horny fashion via the medium of a magazine (and you are 18 years of age or older), check out the March 2009 issue of GALLERY, which features the latest installment of my column, The Horny Time Traveler. It will be hitting the stands momentarily.

You'll see it wrapped in plastic on the stands. That's because it comes with a DVD, too.

You'll see it wrapped in plastic on the stands. That's because it comes with a DVD, too.

In this issue’s installment, we travel back to 1955 via two editions of a classic men’s magazine called NIGHT AND DAY. You’ll see reproductions of pictorials featuring sizzling 50s babes like Abbe Lane, Eve Meyer, and Brigitte Bardot. (Below are not the clippings used in the article, but a few pix I found on the Web to illustrate this blog post.)

Abbe Lane was an international sensation, the very definition of a 50s "thrush," as singers were called then.

Abbe Lane was an international sensation, the very definition of a 50s "thrush," as singers were called then.

The late Eve Meyer got more mileage of four opened buttons than most models today get out of a bikini...

The late Eve Meyer got more mileage of four opened buttons than most models today get out of a bikini...

Here is Miss Bardot at the Cannes film festival...

Here is Miss Bardot at the Cannes film festival...

In this issue’s column, you’ll see the first tv horror hostess Vampira with a shaved head, long before such shearing became fashionable; and you’ll learn why Abbe Lane, the young Jewish girl singer from Brooklyn, New York, who married the older Latin band leader Xavier Cugat, was rated as the “Total Woman” by the NIGHT AND DAY editorial board. You’ll gaze at an image of busty singer/actress Meg Myles, one of NIGHT AND DAY’s most popular covergirls…

Meg gained immortality in the cult classic Satan in High Heels!

Meg gained immortality in the cult classic Satan in High Heels!

…and you’ll learn from the words of a top burlesque agent the qualifications for being a stripteaser in 1955, and how much a newbie peeler could expect to make. And you’ll also read about a “posture teacher” who criticized Marilyn Monroe for slouching and not wearing a girdle!

Vampira was tv's pioneer horror movie hostess!

Vampira was tv's pioneer horror movie hostess!

The column also gives a sampling of ads from 1955 for everything from radio and tv repair schools to lingerie to lonely hearts clubs, as well as a roundup of the general trends in the American world of 1955. And of course this issue of GALLERY has much more—pictorials of pretty gals like their signature “Girls Next Door” (aka GND), as well as interviews with creative folks like Gregory McDonald, the 100,000,000-copy bestselling author of the Fletch and Flynn mystery series, and a profile of the producers of Spike-TV’s outrageous show “MANswers.” Ever wonder what animal has a vagina most like a human female’s? The MANswers team gives you the lowdown in the March 2009 issue of GALLERY, edited with flair by David J. Evans!

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If you want to find out more general info about my column, read the “Who I Am” page. Thanks!